Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Aussie Seniors placed on Terror Watch List

Enemy of the state?

FIRST it was bikies, then Anonymous hackers...now the federal government has announced seniors as the latest terrorist threat.

The head of ASIO cited reasons of national security for the Registered Terrorist Organisations list update.

"Older australians know far too much and pose a great risk by telling their sons and daughters and grandchildren about how life was less regulated in the earlier half of the 1900's" Mr [REDACTED] said.

"They tell about times when fireworks were commonplace, and people didn't have to wear bicycle helmets..." He went on to say.

Martha Mavis, the Spokesperson for APIA (Australian Pensioners Insurance Association) said the new ruling was unjust.

"Many of our members fought in wars to defeat the nazis, and now it seems more and more that 'little hitlers' are popping up like weeds in my vege garden. They have infiltrated the local councils, the police force..erm..service, and there are even some lurking in the upper echelons of our government." Mrs Mavis stated.

"This is and has always been considered a 'free country' due to our enjoyment of liberties, but now we're being fined and arrested just for camping in our RVs on our twilight right of passage - to tour around Oz after retirement. Councils are taxing us too much for rates, so we were forced to sell the home and bought the RV (recretional vechicle). Don't we deserve that much after putting in the hard yards with a lifetime of wage slavery"

Another member, a former WWII veteran told us "They thought one lunatic at Port Arthur was worth disarming us all, if that were logical - you wouldn't sack the whole church over one pedo priest would you? Nor would it make sense to sack the entire govt if one politician lies or engages in corruption - many do, but it all seems like double standards to me!"

ASIO head Mr [REDACTED] replied to Mrs. Mavis' concerns "We are sympathetic, but times have changed, this generation is becoming increasingly stupid and its up to us to make sure they don't harm themselves or others. Its dangerous to be filling their heads with ideals of freedom from the days of old. We only have the best interests of the nation at heart."

When W.E.News asked whats those 'best interests' were, Mr [REDACTED] explained corporate interests are top priority.

"Some countries want our resources, we must sell it all off cheap or face 'liberation' of our precious resources by aggressive nations. By submitting to their demands, we save the country from invasion as well as line our own pockets...people just need to relax, watch My Kitchen Rules and similar programmes we have graciously provided for your entertainment, and simply trust their govt. even if it appears to them that the govt. doesn't trust them."