Friday, 7 February 2014

Bitcoin Bullies ruin geeks lives in brutal bloodbath

Got the Bitcoin Blues?

Investors in bitcoin are reeling in horror this week after their cryptofunds were raided by hackers who turned the bitcoin exchange site Conbase into a bloodbath of frozen screens and frozen funds.

Users of the site have been saving, buying, trading and exchanging the Bitcoins for a few years now, pinning too much faith in numbers on a screen actually being worth anything. Some ultra-enthusiatic geeks even bought special hardware devices known as 'Miners' that process Bitcon transactions and pay a kind of transaction fee percentage in exchange for computer processing all sounds too good to be true.


The geeks, who thought they were so wise, expecting to use their brainyness to their financial advantage become the victims of another group of geeks known as '3B' or the "BULLY BITCOIN BANDITS". The geeks who were often pushed around and bullied for their lunch money at primary school and later high school and college had never in their wildest dreams imagined the horrifying scenerio they were about to face.

First, logged into Coinbase exchange...Secondly, screen flashes like lightning then fully freezes up. After 30 seconds of frantically bashing CTL+ALT+DEL to recover the computer using task manager, or at the very least reboot the locked up piece of shit was all over.

One whizz shared his experience with W.E.News. "After that awkward screen freeze, it finally came to, but when it did I lost my entire Bitcon fortune. I had 100,000 in BitCoins stolen and I was helpless to stop it. CoinBase is not responding to any of us that lost our money, so we are uber-upset right now. All our blockchains are tangled and the BITCON BANDITS continue to plunder the CoinBase memberships cryptocurrency assets without any security or resistance to defend ourselves. It's the first time since leaving school that I've had my salad tossed by a bully, they held me and financially raped my assets, all I could do was stare at the screen and scream."

Other users have committed real bank robberies so they could repurchase more BitCoin. Some users have even resorted to suicide over the loss of their beloved currency. Counselling services are overwhelmed by all affected by the tragedy.

The hacker group responsible is unsympathetic..."We came, we stole, they cried!" joked the leader, operating under the handle 'G'N'R-Cornshucker'. "It was just a bit of fun for us to come together, and invading them like wolves in a chicken coop - easy pickings!"

"Next time we plan to personally visit each Bitcoin trader and give them a big f**king wedgie. Oh, and laugh 'ha,ha' like Nelson from The Simpsons."

Authorities cite this unfortunate incident as yet another lame excuse to shut down BitCoin activity.

Please donate to the Bitcoin massacre victims here : f8e407f9-4d9e-47da-b04d-28f7dcd729a7